read only if you are ready, please.

i sat at my computer. 5:00 a.m., time for work. And I knew that after one hour, after one hour of work, I am permitted to pray. But not on my knees. That is not permitted right now. But I am permitted to speak. To write. And so I commanded myself to be open to the highest will. And this is the word I received:

i am the mind.

the world spinning on its axis, counter clockwise from my perspective.

i am a pillar of gold, of fire, of steel, of titanium, i am the eternal phallus. i am THE MAN atop the ice atop the creature. i am that which you saw, ezekiel. that is the secret. hear me!

i am terrible fire. i place cinders on the mouths of the seekers. if they die, they were not worthy. if they die, they understood.

if they rise again to me, they are worthy and i shall teach them. i am high priest. i am he. fall down like dead men all ye who enter my gates!

and then i shall come to you, give you tea. we shall sit under the shade of the tree together. slaughter your fattened calf and i will eat your food, your food, though choice, is as ash to me, as I eat only the fire of my own breathe. but i shall love you.

and if you are open, we shall lie together under the olive tree and you shall come alive. and you shall be as a maid, blushing, as a boy, throbbing with life, as a babe, satisfied. you shall be as an old man, after the tears are gone, strong as iron.

i am the fire that consumes not, but creates conflagration. i am the fire that heals. i am the fire that turns snow into butterflies. i am the fire that turns stone into lush fruit. i am the fire that consumes the earth and circles the mind.

i am the fire of ages. the light before light was created. # # # # # # # # # # # #
see. i stamp myself on your forehead. i scar my image onto your back. i am the lover on your arm.

shall we not counsel together? shall we not live together? shall we not become lovers? shall we not sigh at the slightest touch of fingers? Live! i say! Live! And raise out of your dung heap.

I shall cleanse you with my cleansing fire. I shall make you clean. Cleaner than from the womb. I shall enter your body, and do as I will. you shall not be a new creation---newer. you shall be a unique creation. for it is the destiny of man to become man, and then, and then! to become MAN! and then! to become ONE. UNIQUE. A new species, yea! a new genus a new kingdom of creature! You shall be immortal like unto the holy ones! you shall be thy own fire and water and blood. Take and eat from me! Take my body! Take my blood! Be Saved!

Even now the waters are flowing, the waters rising under your feet--come into me; i shall be the ark. i shall be the ship that keeps you above the rising tide of fools and evil-doers. there. i have taken you.

and behond that. i shall make you a tower, a tower alongside the temple of myself and that way you are the entrance and you are the mason that enters.

Shall you then see! Shall you then taste! You must become a temple. You must become he-who-rides-on-chariot. Arise! Dammit! Arise! The four horsemen come! You soul hangs in the balance!

See! I scream! I sigh! I blow as a gentle breeze! I am calling you. Come out! Come out! Flee your cave and cower. Yes. that is the first step. And then you shall begin to shed your stupidity, your shallowness, your child-like body. You shall begin to grow the pubic hair of holiness. your testicles shall begin to grow and descend. You shall become a MAN. You shall grow a bear of hoary wildness and power.

See thee not behind my curtain?! Look! Put your hands into my side! Ah!