7.12.10

this darkness that is light
it makes all 'knowledge' and 'reason' worse than rags,
more filthy than excrement,
more deadly than poison.

it is only the sweetness of the sublime union
that will satisfy the truly decadent . . . . .

it is pleasure untold,
pain exquisite,
immolation pure,
fullness like fire inside of fire--
a conflagration insatiable and inextinguishable.

o holy divine! you give and give and give again.
and i, now nearly nothing, no longer receive
but am given.

let me be the bread crushed! CRUSHED!
the wine drunk! CONSUMED!

o god. we span the stars and ant hills together.
we shoot holy beams of death and life, our fingers one.
my body your helpless avatar.
my mind your boisterous laugh.
my pains your idle moments.
my joys your wounds.
my death your food.

o god. life is too sweet for me. like cakes and wines ambrosial.
o god. living is too much pain, like heaviness that pulls apart the limbs.
o god. breathing is like Sisyphus and rock. to leave this glorious temple of flesh,
i would gladly bare all and flee into the desert in glorious nakedness.

but as yet, your kindliness has one bound: i must live out my long days double-sighted.
no freedom from your tiny creation do i have as yet.
but i am content.

for i am thou. and you hold my hand, sweetly. and i rest my head against thy breast so sure, trusting in your gaze upon eternity. and i sleep, yes I sleep. and on some nights, so banish the demons from my mind, and i rest in thy lap.

7.12.10

May I ask a simple question? Why is it that we cover and are ashamed of, and ban from public view, representations of the male and female genitalia? Are they not the creations of god? Are they not power symbols of the power of god and the way god intended most creature kingdoms of this world to procreate? Why is procreation surrounded by silly euphemisms and secrecy in so many cultures? This I truly do not understand. Perhaps if we were more comfortable with the fact that we are all naked before god and willing to allow representations of his glorious creations, all of them, in their amazing beauty to surround us, just maybe we could unbury subconscious fears, and reveal them as beautiful and good and pure impulses, and directed toward good and pure actions.

Of course, it didn't quite work out that way in the ancient Greek and Roman worlds--they certainly had their share of bloodshed and internal evils to boot. But it just seems so much more natural for us to embrace these emblems of the overwhelming power of god to penetrate and receive. To create. It seems sad that our 'vision' of the human body is cut up into 'acceptable' and 'unacceptable'. Well, at least it gives those of us who aren't 'model worth' a chance to cover up. But perhaps therein is the worst of it. We just bodies by a certain standard. We can't get away from our nascent and intransigent and incipient worship of the human body; and so by covering up the majority of us, other than the "Abercrombie and Fitch"-worthy, we cease to understand that all human bodies are temples of the divine. All. All. All.

Well. I'm kicking against the goads on this one, I know. It's just sad. But there are far sadder things, I know.

7.12.10

this photo reminds me of my more mundane moments in prayer . . . :-) in this form, I'm still somewhat corporeal. I haven't yet allowed myself to be utterly lost in the astral world, but eventually that will happen. Yet, in my heart, i know that even if I'm 100% "in", that cord will never leave me, until that glorious day when the divine slays me and brings me into his fold of fire and wonder. Perhaps, perhaps, as a guru once said, i'll be aware enough at the moment of my Terran 'death' to rush not headlong into the physical again, but to wait to see if i am ushered into the heavenly courts of eternity, or, if i must return, to return to a body destined for THE CHARISM. You know of what i speak . . . .