i wanted peace: he gave me ashes.
i wanted health: he gave me pain.
i wanted love: he gave me sadness.
i wanted wealth: he gave me unbearable burdens.
i wanted happiness: he gave me afflictions.
i wanted prayer: he gave me insanity.
i wanted power: he gave me disabilities.
i wanted wisdom: he gave me eyes that will not shut.
finally, i wanted nothing: and he gave me nothing.
and i was satisfied.
there is no peace with god without annihilation. for he creates so that he may destroy utterly.

great goddes; great mother; great advocate

folds of cool linen like feathers and dew and a new morning on my tortured face.
smooth skin of alabaster white but pulsing living breathing more alive than new grass, more vibrant than fresh snow, more puissant than a yearling stag.
and i pass. i pass.
and backwards i fall, fall, falling but my head strikes no stone. a hand, great, carries me and i am laid up in the softess bed of down and white and pillows and a breeze, cool, upon my cheek.
and my memory erased and clean and only softness remains.

for now your limpid flesh erect walks and finger, hands and arms gesture according to convention.
your main flows in the gentle, discrete, shy canal of the banal.
and ready to do commerce.
amen! though are ready for the world.
but to be OF if, there is no concern.
my inner minds and mountains and streams and glaciers and lakes all Thy heavenly hosts reflect.