for every cloverpatch, decay.
for every joy, a braying at the moon.
for every thought, groans unutterable.
my mind has left the safe harbor of my skull
it now goes where it will.
my body like a child without a parent.
it twist serpentine and wild in confusion.
the mind has gone to the relam of power.
it has gone to bring to the earth that which it craves.
the gods ruthless pour out their intention into my pores.
what they call libety, i realize now are chains of chains.
i close my eyes and immediately i am whisked away to the world.
that world where i exist not, but others through me.
my cabinet of saint/demon/spirit guardians.
my enterage of holy ones, so powerful that air dare not breathe
why do i wear the black of power and gold of rulership?
why am i the center of this world of power?
who chose me to be this demi-god?
I sought peace and i was given a sword.
i sought humility and i was given the emperor's crown.
i sought to become nothing, and now i am all.
if you only knew the floor of marble precious and intricate upon which i stand.
if you only knew the dais upon which they set me.
if you only knew the children i have borne and what they have become.
if you could see my offspring; my god, if you could even conceive of them, you would fall down like dead men to the ground.
if you could see my throne room, high and round.
if you knew the millions that protect me, night and day and night again.
if you knew the gods that serve me.
if you knew what venom it is that serves as blood for me now.
if you knew my drink and my meat.
if you knew my lovers.
if you knew me.
if you knew.
i once tried to tell of this, but words fell like soldiers around me.
i craved to share this life of exquisite pain and pleasure.
but they called me mad and shunned me.
now i am alone, but for this hoard of orderliness.
this army of armies.
and they wait for me to command.
they wait. and never grow restless.
they are the calm of the calm. but they are terrible to see.
and they are terrible in battle.
yet i am master.
DO YOU SEE THE KNIFE'S EDGE UPON WHICH I WALK?
my feet now are never covered. the earth turns to sacred gold and satin red where'ev i walk.
i need not clothe myself as chamberlains the rank of kings throw their cloaks around me.
i feel like blown glass, like a cannon's barrel.
i feel like hell's fire. like heaven's rain.
come. but if you come, beware.
for i am becoming the all-consuming fire. i am becoming as single-minded as He.
And he treats his friends like enemies and his enemies like friends.
So think not that I am gentle. Although my words are soft and my face demure.
I have come to slay you. And not only that, to slay you utterly.
Yet, the being that YOU are attempting to kill can now be released.
You are the murderer, the kidnapper. You are the jailer. And i shall take away your keys and yes, you I shall kill with a single slit to your side.
and soon all the world shall be a fire unquenchable. the earth shall shine like a blue quasar. we shall become more terrible than the angels and more fearsome than the gods of old.
we shall be dreamers. we shall dream new worlds, and walk upon them.
Fear! For all your fears are well-founded. You shall not survive this.
That is the good news.
