I have experienced some drastic life changes in the past nine months.  They have had dramatic effects on my life, and that of my family and my Church.  I really can't get into the details now because some of the issues are sensitive relative to certain individuals.

But I can make a few observations.  The most drastic of my changes has been a move, in stages, out of the country.  It has been mostly full of work, diversion, fun and more work.  But as of today, everything has slowed down to a standstill.  I'm waiting on a piece of technology that will allow me to begin putting my new business into full swing, and I'm stymied until Monday when it is SCHEDULED to arrive. Plus, I've finished doing everything I can bear to do on setting up the internal workings on the business, my apartment and any and all logistical stuff.  That just leaves me with "me".  And it's sort of boring.  Even though I am surrounded by at least one person at every moment.

I think this is the "boredom" and "me" that I have been needing to feel for a long time.  I can't tell if this is a good or bad sign, but I'm betting on "good" sign.  Still, what does this mean?  Does this mean that no matter what I do in life I will eventually be left with a "me" that, at its core, has no desires, no wants, only a vague pain--like flesh exposed to too much cold or a tongue burned with too-hot coffee.  Still, there are degrees, and I don't think that "unringing the bell" is going to be an "even trade".  On the contrary.  But what DOES it mean?  Does it mean that I am now in the position to do what I need to do?  Is THIS the work or is the preamble to the work.  I think the latter.

Still, I am left with my prior life, which is, by the way, still going on--very much so.  I don't know what to do.  I am also dealing with a spiritual fugue as well as a mental health condition that both require rapt attention.  Who knows how this will all turn out.