let us rest

oh arms so soft and cool and white!
o raven hair with starry fires bright!
thy slippers upon satan's neck move not
around thy head a circling universe is brought.

let mantle thine be mine as well.
thy folds my shelter.
the bullies that bruise my nose and pull my arm
be gone. for a mother protects her son.
and in the recesses of the night, i crawl in bed
with so fair a sight: mother in her linens and hair
betressed. lavender in my nose--I wiggle and pray
dear god! take not my mother from me!

the secrets

every intonation and rhythm of the mass whispers it. every note of the song of the priest. every word of the Eucharistic prayer. every plaster visage. every flake of gold leaf.

they proclaim the mystery. the mystery of god's true desire. his desire to live under the spiritual life.

his desire to breakaway somehow from that being which one perceives in one's mind and heart. to sneak away from his pleasant visage.

to be a secret lover. to have a secret pact. to give a secret gift. if only we will do this one thing for him, he hints, then much will be ours.

dare not refuse. for he takes his silly games seriously. take the dare, or it will become an unknowable secret passion.

play his game. placate the child. for he is god. and 'no' is not in his vocabulary. recall: a child, with limitless power. limitless time. limitless energy. limitless CHILD's energy. he can play this game 'all day.' take a guess how long his days are.

take the dare.

the child

all hail the child.
whose is he?
is he of mary?
is he of the spirit?
who is the spirit?
who am I?
let me not, i pray, be he.

i wanted peace: he gave me ashes.
i wanted health: he gave me pain.
i wanted love: he gave me sadness.
i wanted wealth: he gave me unbearable burdens.
i wanted happiness: he gave me afflictions.
i wanted prayer: he gave me insanity.
i wanted power: he gave me disabilities.
i wanted wisdom: he gave me eyes that will not shut.
finally, i wanted nothing: and he gave me nothing.
and i was satisfied.
there is no peace with god without annihilation. for he creates so that he may destroy utterly.

great goddes; great mother; great advocate

folds of cool linen like feathers and dew and a new morning on my tortured face.
smooth skin of alabaster white but pulsing living breathing more alive than new grass, more vibrant than fresh snow, more puissant than a yearling stag.
and i pass. i pass.
and backwards i fall, fall, falling but my head strikes no stone. a hand, great, carries me and i am laid up in the softess bed of down and white and pillows and a breeze, cool, upon my cheek.
and my memory erased and clean and only softness remains.

for now your limpid flesh erect walks and finger, hands and arms gesture according to convention.
your main flows in the gentle, discrete, shy canal of the banal.
and ready to do commerce.
amen! though are ready for the world.
but to be OF if, there is no concern.
my inner minds and mountains and streams and glaciers and lakes all Thy heavenly hosts reflect.

silver? gold? blue?

three daughters of spotless aspect.
one mother.
a diamond.
a knife.
and now i must be comforted.

a! elbereth!

A Elbereth Gilthoniel
O Elbereth Starkindler,
silivren penna míriel
white-glittering, slanting down sparkling like a jewel,
o menel aglar elenath!
the glory of the starry host!
Na-chaered palan-díriel
Having gazed far away
o galadhremmin ennorath,
from the tree-woven lands of Middle-earth,
Fanuilos, le linnathon
to thee, Everwhite, I will sing,
nef aear, sí nef aearon!
on this side of the Sea, here on this side of the Ocean!^[1]

A Elbereth Gilthoniel
O Elbereth Star-kindler,
o menel palan-díriel,
from heaven gazing afar,
le nallon sí di'-nguruthos!
to thee I cry now beneath the shadow of death!
A tíro nin, Fanuilos!
O look towards me, Everwhite!^[2]

A! Elbereth Gilthoniel!
O! Elbereth Starkindler,
silivren penna míriel
white-glittering, slanting down sparkling like a jewel,
o menel aglar elenath,
the glory of the starry host
Gilthoniel, A! Elbereth!
Starkindler, O! Elbereth!
We still remember, we who dwell
In this far land beneath the trees
The starlight on the western seas.

a new (to me) marian devotion: the seven sorrows

• The prophecy of Simeon
• The Flight to Egypt
• Loss of Child Jesus for 3 days, later found in His Father's House
• Witnessing Jesus carry his Cross
• The Crucifixion of Jesus
• Taking Jesus Down from the Cross
• The Burial of Jesus

beardless

i had hoped that g-d might really still wear a great beard.
that he would be as kindly as my grampa could have been.
that he would be as venerable as a naked saint in a tree.
that he would be as masterful as Jehovah of old.
that he would be as giving as the rivers.
that he would be as constant as the ocean.
that he would be, in short, a proper, decent sort of g-d that did the right things when prayed to.

i've found, however, that g-d is far too young, good looking, devil-may-care, disinterested in this world, and, frankly, far too hip, for my taste. but he is, at the least, very, very beautiful. and he makes good coffee. and he never gets 5 o'clock shadow.
and he is exceedingly patient.

Define Faith?

Faith is the function that happens when logic and reason are no longer applicable.

wilmshurst - anima naturae

Swirl of the river aflow to the sea,
Aspen a-quiver all tremulously,
Skylark that shivereth song o’er the lea,
Shaft of the sun;
Snowflakes that sprinkle the wind-bitten wold,
Fireflies that twinkle with shimmer of gold,
Wavelets that wrinkle the sands where ye rolled,
Rivulet’s ripple and run; myst.
Lone mountain-meres that are silently dreaming
Of far-flashing spheres that enmirrored are beaming,
Clouds’ crystal tears when the rainbow is gleaming,
I, also a son
Of the Mother, inherit the soul of her infinite throng,
See it and hear it my paths all about and among,
Throb with your spirit and sing with the manifold song
Of the infinite, manifold One.

if you take my hand, i will release my grip on your throat.

Rising up. As a leaf floating up to its mother-branch.
Like a stag leaping.
Like the g-d rising up over his creation.
A lover stands glorious to his beloved.
I stand. I am all.

Wet earth between toes.
Upraised arms and rain, silver, shiny, sinuous slides down from my firmament onto my plain.
I have rolled back the skies.
Now verdant, verdant roll the hills and rich blacky loamy earth my command.

A waste has given way to my fertile fields and milk and honey flow gorge my eyes.
I rise puissant and all obey. I have righted the orbs by night and day and set their course.
I have crumbled the mighty hills and laid them lowly. And valleys I have filled with grace.
The four corners of my realm I establish firmly.
None shall pass. None pass.

Sealed. My lips so terrible.
My side has poured out and all is holy. None profane my secret.
Words have I unspoke’ by ones, tens and thousands.
All glorious. I suffer not a blade to be trampled.
My fortress mighty, walls of spirit to the uttermost stand.

bless us

faery sky.

angel wind.

satan's fork.

mother's lap.

father's hand.

and bless us, Thou Omnipotent, with thy fearless ruthless smiling ways.